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I have tried almost 1 hour to find an accurate word/phrase to describe ‘theories of success’, the stories you may hear from your friends, relatives and social media every day, on how to become a successful people like Bill Gates, Jack Ma, etc. Maybe I shall call it ‘science of success’? Well, it is still inaccurate, since I know, science means something that can be proved by practice or experiments. But I never hear someone succeeds after hearing or following those stories, what a pity.
Success is what we all dreamed of. We dream to have a successful career, luxurious life, beautiful family, gaining lots of friends and a lot more to name. We all take a good leap to improve ourselves. We just don’t sit, stare and wait for it to come. But many people are misled by ‘science of success’, trying to copy and paste other’s road to success. However, there are different kinds of views, stop chasing success and start enjoying your life. In my opinion, both sides are too extreme and radical. There should be a balance, in the middle, when to strive hard and when to let go. And such balance differs for every individual on this planet based on diversity in our skills, fortune, background…
Therefore, let’s view success from a new angle: how to learn and avoid failure.
Being optimised, staying positive and never give up. This is a commonly used suggestion for many ‘Mentor of Success’. However, these spirits can be found in many ordinary commoners as well, those remained unknown or even become a loser.
Do not over-value optimism or think it leads to success. It is just a strategy of lower the possibility that you get lost in a failure or give up in the middle. When we achieve something, we always want more. The nature of human inspiration pushes us forward, but it won’t tell us if success or failure is awaiting. Chasing success is never easy, and it takes a lot of effort for us to get there. Hence, if we finally fail after numerous attempts, it will bring us a sense of disillusionment, making us self-doubt, unconfident or even self-denial. Here, optimism plays her role, stopping us from slippering into a deeper failure and make one back to his/her ration.
It reminds someone, already considered as a loser by others that there is always another chance ahead to probably win. I.e. When the god closes a door, there is still a window open for you. Such saying and belief may drag one out of the mug of failure, and most importantly, as contrary fighting against the sense of desperate to rebuild the balance in one’s mind, that the possibility of success and failure is always 50-50.
The road to success/failure is absolutely not a smooth road. There might be a lot of bumpy, ups and downs along your way. You may not end up to be where you want to be in a snap. For those who don’t have a strong mind and determined will, it is quite easy to give up in the middle. And optimism is the fuel, a self-suggestion that implies a signal ‘You are almost there, don’t give up! You can make it!’ What if you find out it is a failure at the end, you still need optimism to persuade yourself to start a new journey as mentioned above.
Why I emphasise optimism here is not for your success, but for your mental and physical health. There is no guarantee that being optimised you will achieve your goal one day, but a guarantee to sustain your energy and faith when falling on the ground. And of course, optimism always plays a role to effectively prevent heart attack or other heart diseases, which may lead the rest of your life in a bed of hospital, a deeper failure.
There is a famous saying from Jack Ma, the idol for many people when daydreaming, ‘Remaining unsuccessful is not because you don’t strive hard enough, but you don’t strive hard in the right way.’
Though I totally agree what he has brought up here, this sentence seems useless to us. No one, including yourself, knows what and where is the ‘right way’ to achieve your goal. All we can do is to keep trying, keep falling and then climb up to try again. And finally, maybe when your hair has turned grey, you finally know where is your way.
Nevertheless, Ma’s words are still practical to some extent if we look at it from a different perspective, telling you not to persist all the time. I believe what indicates here is, stop and take a look around regularly when you are trying.
Many people take persistence and never give up as good quality/morality. Well, it depends on how and where you apply this quality. If someone tries to climb Mount Qomolangma without any local guide, GPS, Compass, map or any other locating devices, it is called foolhardiness, not courage or bravery. The same thing may happen every day for everyone. Before making big decisions and put your efforts in, do you really know what you are doing and where you are heading towards?
If you are in a right way, persistence will lead you to your destination. However, if it is a wrong way, what is waiting for you might be a cliff or a crocodile in the water. There is no GPS or any god’s eyes to help locate the position in your life. Like what a captain shall do to avoid reefs, you will have to keep correct your route based on other ship’s experience and your observation.
Hence, don’t forget to correct your route once in a while when persisting to a direction. And when did you know there will be a barrier/danger ahead? Others have told you where they are by their failure. Still, there is no guarantee that this will lead you to the right way, but it lowers the risk of crashing hard or a huge impact that utterly destroy your life.
All in all, try to learn from other’s failure, not their success, optimism or persistence. Since we all make the same mistakes once and once again but our success is all different from one another.